Anyone who’s heard of The Hell should know what to expect from these guys by now. These mysterious punks have built up quite a reputation. Whether it’s their music, live shows or their way of dealing with trolls on the internet The Hell handle things their own way (usually by calling people dicks). Rocksins were lucky enough to chat with Nails and Black Mist ahead of their performance at Hevy Festival.
Rocksins: So we are here with Nails and Black Mist from The Hell.
Black Mist: The Hell? Nah we’re The Vandals.
Nails: That was a funny.
Rocksins: So lets get this out of the way, can we expect any inflatable genitalia during your set today?
Black Mist: I think it’s gonna be different types of inflatables really. It’s more of a surprise.
Nails: Yeah lots of inflatable bits, more venue themed surprises.
Rocksins: Ah nice, so speaking of inflatables you had lots of them at Sonisphere, how was that fesitval?
Nails: It was very tiring because we’d inflated so many inflatables so it was like we’d done loads of balloons.
Black Mist: We were really lightheaded and out of breath for the whole set. And everyone kept shouting at us too.
Nails: Yeah that was really annoying.
Black Mist: It was rubbish.
Rocksins: You’ve just released your second album Groovehammer are you pleased with it’s reception?
Black Mist: I really didn’t want people to like it but it seems to have had the opposite effect.
Nails: Unfortunately everyone seems to love it, we tried to make everyone really angry with it but they seem to be getting really on board which is bad news for us really.
Black Mist: Yeah because we had to sort of jet across the globe, get paid loads of money and do all these festivals, which is shit because we’d rather just be at home doing drugs which is our day job.
Rocksins: How did releasing the album through a record label compare to self releasing the first album.
Nails: (With a fake American accent) It was really awesome, I mean to have support of Prosthetic records gave us better possibilities with the overseas market you know? I mean you can release stuff on bandcamp for free as much as you like but…
Black Mist: (Also with an American accent) I’m just stoked we got to release it in the home town in the US.
Nails: Oh yeah sure, like LA that’s where they’re based so it’s cool to be working with good dudes from our hometown of LA it’s awesome.
Rocksins: Awesome, but now that you’ve signed to a record label don’t you feel like you’ve sold out?
Nails: No not at all. I think there’s no such thing as selling out in 2014.
Black Mist: We try and keep stuff in stock as much as we can to avoid that situation.
Nails: We make sure that we never run out. Because it’s difficult to run out of CDs in this time, if you run out of CDs you’re not making enough CDs, you know what I mean?
Black Mist: We’ve got cassettes as back as well, that’s actually true.
Nails: We’ve got cassettes, we got vinyl, we got CDs, we got t shirts and stickers. And we’ve not ran out of any of them.
Rocksins: What have you been doing with all the record labels money though?
Nails: Pissing it up a wall and spending it on drugs.
Black Mist: Mostly cocaine, some amphetamines as well but they’re just for backup. Mostly cocaine, straight off the rock from Columbia, straight off the boat.
Nails: I brought two shoes.
Rocksins: Different shoes?
Nails: No no no, a pair.
Rocksins: Nice, erm on your new album there’s a song called “We Love Dicks”…
Nails: Hmm yes.
Rocksins: What was the inspiration behind this song?
Black Mist: I better explain this as it’s actually quite complicated: Basically we love massive, veiny, shinning, throbbing, pulsating, twitching penises. All over us.
Rocksins: Reading and Leeds are your last major shows of the summer, can we expect any more shows to be announced? Possibly even a headline tour?
Nails: We’ve been offered £1,000,000 a show in the winter so we’re possibly gonna accept that, might try and up the price a little bit. But inevitably we will actually be playing some shows. I think over some weekend, a bunch of mini tours in the winter.
Black Mist: Groovehammer smashing the ice that is the English winter.
Nails: That’s what we’re gonna call it.
Rocksins: Getting a bit more serious now some people say The Hell is just a publicity stunt, how do you feel about this and what do you think of the bands who have recently resorted to cheap publicity stunts for attention?
Nails: I think gimmicks are brilliant.
Black Mist: (Again with an American accent) I personally think it’s lame and if bands have to resort to doing something gimmicky to get their music across then they’re probably no good, like Upon A Burning Body. Who else has done a stupid publicity stunt? Slipknot maybe?
Nails: They didn’t get anywhere.
Black Mist: Yeah they’re awful.
Nails: But… I was gonna say something, erm what was it, costumes? But I mean the last thing you’d want to happen is having fun in metal, why would you wanna do that?
Black Mist: Oh god leave the fun at the door at a metal show.
Nails: I mean you’d think that heavy music was designed for young angry teens rebelling against their parents but that’s the last thing you want.
Black Mist: It’s not its designed for angry middle aged dudes.
Rocksins: Who sit at their computers typing away and complaining.
Nails: Well that’s what it’s all about so to stray from that we do feel a bit bad and hope that no one lives by our example by having fun.
Black Mist: Yeah we really don’t want that at all.
Rocksins: Finally, you Hevy Fest has the zoo, if you guys could be any animal what would you be, I guess your answer might be given away by the masks here…
Nails: (Pointing to lion mask) Yeah a moose.
Black Mist: Crocodile!
Nails: There you go, that’s it.
Black Mist: I’d be a crocodile so I could like loads of burgers all at the same time.
Nails: I’d be a moose… Yeah.
Rocksins: Right well that’s everything cheers guys.
Both: Cheers, nice to meet you.
The Hell’s second album Groovehammer is out now. You can follow The Hell on Twitter at @TheHellYouDick and like them on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/thehellthehellthehell to get up-to-the-minute updates from The Hell. They’re well worth following, you never know what they’ll do next!